The Accidental Husband
by lysjelonken
Summary: Based on the basic plot of the movie The Accidental Husband, as suggested by Agathanancy98. Lisbon is happy and about to marry her fiancee, Drew. But when they apply for a marriage license, they realize that she had fallen victim to a glitch - AU, JISBON
1. Chapter 1

**The Accidental Husband**

**This fic was suggested to me by Agathanancy98, and it's also based on the plot of the movie of the same name. I've never seen the movie, but I am familiar with its plot, so rest assured this will not just be a copy-paste of the movie's script with Jane and Lisbon's names inserted in! I'm going to try and keep it as original as possible.**

**This is my first fic in a long, long time – I finished writing my exams that will determine whether I get into medical school or not (and I passed – YAY!) and have, understandably, gone through a bit of a creative slump with it. Thanks so much to Agathanancy98 for giving me something to write about!**

**Disclaimer: Bruno Heller owns The Mentalist and its characters, the creator of The Accidental Husband owns the plotline. I'm just borrowing – promise. Oh, and Drew is my own character.**

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><p>Today was it - the big day!<p>

Well, not exactly the _real _big day; not the one that was really big in the opinion of most people. That was coming up in two months' time. But in her opinion, today was just as big and just as important. As a woman of the law, applying for the marriage license was a very big step.

They stepped into the city clerk's office hand in hand, smiling from ear to ear. She knew her new husband-to-be was probably not as psyched about today as she was, but she was grateful for his enthusiasm, despite it being for her sake.

"Hi." He greeted the clerk with a wide smile. "We'd like to apply for a marriage license please."

The clerk looked up with weary eyes and nodded, typing on his computer. "Names and identification, please."

"Andrew Miller and Teresa Lisbon." Drew smiled down at her with his soulful chocolaty eyes and shifted their driver's licenses through the slot to the clerk.

While the clerk continued typing, Teresa's mind wandered to the events that led to this.

X

"_Cho, I need you to check up on that assistant, Daniel Smith. He looked kind of shady when I spoke to him, looked away every time he spoke about the victim."_

"_Will do, Boss." Cho said._

"_And I'm getting coffee. Anyone want?"_

_Over the phone there was the muffled sound of conversation, followed by Cho reciting the respective orders. The coffee order in mind, she walked into the Starbucks. It being in the beginnings of lunch hour, the store was filled with bustling people. She frowned, not really feeling up to the crowds, but her fading energy from an already-long day and her desperate need for caffeine made her swallow and stand in the line anyway. _

_She was tapping her foot and her eyes constantly darted to her wristwatch. She's never been a patient woman, especially not when waiting for her caffeine fix was concerned. _

_She tried to busy herself by watching the people waiting in front of her. The crowd of people waiting to have their orders taken in front of her; some high-strung interns and assistants getting coffee for their bosses, students with backpacks full of books slung across their shoulders, lunching people of all walks of life. _

_Her eye caught a man in the front of the line. He was tall and handsome with dark hair. He turned around to look at the wall clock by the door and she was instantly mesmerized by the chocolaty, deep brown eyes that stared just past her. She felt a flutter in her stomach and quickly dismissed it, shaking her head to expel the embarrassingly teenage-like thoughts. Grown women do not fawn over strangers in coffee-lines, she scolded herself internally and looked away from him._

_But as much as she tried to ignore him, her eyes kept darting back to the handsome stranger. Even as he received his tray of coffees and walked away, closer towards her until he..._

_Suddenly, the handsome stranger was falling forward (bumped by another waiting customer and accidentally tripped) and his coffee with him. One of the cups' top broke open mid-fall and its contents spilled out – onto her._

_She yelled in pain as the hot coffee made contact with her, staining her shirt and burning her skin underneath it._

_The stranger – significantly less handsome to her angry eyes now – looked up from where he fell on the floor with a horrified expression._

"_Oh my-... I'm so sorry!" He sprang up and immediately ran to her, trying to dab the coffee off of her shirt with a napkin. The coffee hadn't been hot enough to burn her, but it certainly had been hot enough to hurt – and to make her pretty damn pissed._

"_What the hell is your problem? What do you think, you can just go around throwing hot coffee at random people?" She yelled, slapping his hands away when he tried to dab the coffee on her chest. He looked truly sorry standing in front of her, his own sleeves and the knees of his pants stained from coffee where he fell, his handsome face contorted guiltily._

"_I'm sorry, i-it was an accident, I swear... Are you hurt?" He asked. His brown eyes were filled with concern, and she felt her anger slip away._

"_Yeah. Sorry, I guess I overreacted. It was an accident, you didn't do it on purpose." She said, embarrassed at her yelling before and begrudgingly took the napkin in his hand to try and salvage her ruined shirt. She'd have to stop by her apartment before returning to work to change. "I'm not hurt, it's okay." _

"_Well, I ruined your shirt. I'm really sorry." He said. He got in line behind her, waiting to get coffee again. "I'm Drew, by the way." He said, extending a hand._

_She shook it, giving a small smile in return. "Teresa."_

"_Teresa... That's a really nice name." He said, smiling geniunely and making the embarrassing flutter return to her stomach. "I feel I should do something to make it up to you, Teresa. Maybe I could take you out for coffee sometime?"_

_She looked down at her coffee-stained shirt, then back at him._

"_Or... something else. Dinner maybe?" He salvaged, smiling. _

_She couldn't help a smile from appearing on her face as well..._

X

It was, by all definitions, a whirlwind romance. After many years of placing her job ahead of relationships, of flings and first dates that never became seconds, she had found a man that was practically perfect.

Drew was smart, handsome, stable; he worked as a financial advisor at a prestigious firm. He had a strong enough personality to match hers and not let her overpower him – something she had always needed in a man. Finally, she had found the man she had been looking for. When he proposed one warm summer night, only a few months after they had met and started their relationship, her logical side was overthrown by her heart and she said yes.

The last few months had been a blur. Drew had gotten them a wedding planner – thank heavens – and she'd been dragged through a seemingly endless line of bridal shops and restaurants and bakeries to taste, sample, pick and choose among different shades of cream and lavender, different kinds of vanilla sponge cake and every possible kind of wedding dress imaginable.

Now they were finally getting to a part that made sense to her, and she was on cloud nine.

The clerk, still typing at a snail's pace on his computer, looked up at them with glazed grey eyes. The eyes darted back to the computer screen, then back to them.

The detective in her felt a stroke of suspicion; the bride in her felt a surge of panic.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Well, it seems there's a problem with the license." The clerk said cryptically.

"What kind of problem?" Drew asked, a crease forming between his eyes.

"It seems that Miss Lisbon – or Mrs..? – is already married." He said, a mean kind of amusement glinting in his eyes.

Lisbon's mouth fell open. She looked to Drew who was looking down at her, his eyes wide and filled with confusion and betrayal.

"N-No..." She stuttered, then looked back to the clerk. "What do you _mean _I'm married? I've never _been _married!"

"Well, here it is." He said, turning the monitor so they could see. "On record. You're married."

"To who?" Drew asked, finding his voice again.

The clerk clicked on the keyboard and another window opened up on the monitor, showing the face and details of a blonde, curly-headed man with blue eyes.

"To a man named Patrick Jane."

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><p><strong>Okay, so I realize this isn't at all the characterization of the characters in the movie, but like I said before, I'm only keeping the basic plot. The characters of the movie and the characters of Lisbon and Jane are just a little too different (career-wise especially). I hope I don't upset anyone by mucking up the plotline of their favorite movie or something...<strong>

**Anyway, I'd love some feedback. As I said, it's my first time writing again in a bit and I'd love to hear what you guys think of it so far. Please review!**

**Much love, Zanny**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 2**

**Hi guys! Just need to clear something up, apparently a few people misunderstood me – I finished the exams that would determine if I get into med school and I passed those tests, but they still need to decide whether my 'pass' is good enough to let me in. Although the congratulations made me really happy! Unfortunately they're (hopefully) premature. But thanks for being awesome anyway. And for the great positive feedback on the fic so far. Anyway... back to it!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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><p>"Patrick Jane?" Lisbon asked, frowning. "I don't even <em>know <em>anyone named Patrick Jane! How could I be married to him if I've never heard of him?"

"There must be some mistake." Drew insisted.

The clerk only gave a shrug. "I'm sorry. I can't apply for a marriage license with Mrs Lisbon still married."

Lisbon's ear started to ring and her face felt very hot. She grabbed onto the clerk's desk for support and felt the anger and the panic burn in her chest. What was happening? How could this even be possible?

Her entire life she'd been married to her job. Now that she was _trying _to get married to the man of her dreams...

Drew was arguing with the clerk, but she wasn't listening anymore.

"Alright." She said, her voice much clearer and calmer than she felt. Drew and the clerk's argument stilled immediately. "Alright, so there was a little... glitch. And I'm married. Okay. That's okay, we can handle it. Can you give me the address of this...? Mister Jane? Give me the address and I'll just go down there and explain the situation. I'm sure he'll understand and we'll get a quick divorce and... and we'll come back and get the license as soon as the divorce is finalized." She looked to Drew for support.

He was clearly still shocked, his eyes still dark with anger, but he visibly calmed down at her rational solution.

"Okay. Okay, you're right." He managed a small smile. "You're right. As always." He put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her tightly against his chest. His eyes went back to the clerk.

"So? That address please?"

X

He sat on the beach outside his home, his toes in the sand.

The sound of the waves relaxed him; it was one of the very few things these days that did. The smell too, the salt and the sand made him cool down from the constant rush, the constant anger. He opened his eyes and took in the picturesque view of the endless beach. The sun setting on the horizon and the orange shades it painted across the sky fade into darkness.

And with one last deep breath through the nose he stood up, turned around and walked back inside.

He walked from the beach onto the patio, empty of any furniture, through the open glass doors into the living room – also empty. Empty of furniture, empty of pictures, empty of paintings. Just the stark, empty room (as all the rooms were in his stark, empty house by the beach), with the floor covered by a thin film of dust.

Then into the kitchen where the cabinets where empty but for one plate, one bowl, a knife, fork and spoon and a cup and saucer, and a half-empty bottle of whiskey. Just the cabinets, and a fridge and a kettle to make tea.

He opened the fridge and took out the simple ingredients that sat lonely on one of the shelves and made himself a sandwich. He boiled the water to make the tea and ate the sandwich as he waited for it to finish. Then came the ritual: tea bag, milk, truly boiling water, one sugar, stir. Sip carefully, it's hot.

He drank the tea slowly as he ascended up the stairs and down the corridor it led to.

When he reached the last door on the corridor, he hesitated before he opened the door. The memories flooded him once again; that night, walking up these stairs, walking down this corridor, reaching this door...

Seeing the letter.

Knowing what was on the other side without needing to open the door.

It's been a couple of years since that night, but still the memory was as vivid and horrifying as before. He could still smell the sickening, irony smell of blood in the air, taste the bile rise up from his throat... He could still see them, clear as day, lying on the bed. Mutilated; violated; cut up like animals by that cold-hearted monster...

He opened the door, swallowing as he did.

He had taken the furniture out when he emptied the entire house, years back when he returned from the mental institute.

After his breakdown, he had made the vow.

The vow that this would be his life from now on. An empty life, solidary and cold and without anyone beside him – never, _ever _again.

A life of revenge.

His life was upside down now; it was completely and utterly beyond repair. But that was okay, right? He was comfortable that way. He was fine with living this way for the higher purpose; to finally get revenge.

So he lay down on the small, cold single mattress and settled in, placing the teacup beside him on the floor. It would be another hard night.

He shifted onto his side and started at it; the red painted face on the wall.

Staring at him with that smug, smug smile.

Laughing at him, taunting him.

_Torturing _him.

A sigh in the silence; he closed his eyes, but he did not sleep.

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><p><strong>So what do you guys think? I've got something interesting planned for this fic and Jane's current position has something to do with it. I hope you guys approve. Oh, and important thing to know: Jane was never allowed to work with law enforcement again after his breakdown, so he never worked at the CBI, never met Lisbon and pursued his own personal mission against RJ outside law enforcement. You'll see...<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 3**

**Thanks for the support guys. I'm loving all the positive feedback and support so far!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

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><p>An emergency visit to Drew's brother (also his lawyer) quickly and efficiently provided a stack of papers, covered in legal jargon.<p>

It felt so weird.

She was sitting here, stalling and sitting in her car in front of a large and impressive beach house in Malibu, ready to divorce a complete stranger. Given her Catholic upbringing, divorce – or rather, in this case, annulment - was something she'd never wanted to do; she'd always believed marriage was a sacred bond between a man and a woman and not something to be taken lightly and broken for just anything. Of course, getting accidentally married to a complete stranger by a computer glitch would never be categorized as "just anything"...

She drew a deep breath, then swallowed and decided it was time to man up. This wasn't a situation that was just going to up and solve itself, and she'd never backed away from a confrontation before.

So here goes...

She opened the door and stepped out of the car. The sun beamed down and warmed her cheeks; she smelled salt and sand in the air and heard the crashing of the waves just beyond the house. She walked down the path and up the steps to the front door. She rang the bell and waited. Her eyes inevitably wandered to the large windows. She felt a surge of curiosity and moved to one of them, peering inside. Though the exterior of the house was beautiful and tasteful, the windows were foggy and dirty; inside she saw nothing. Just empty walls and an empty room. Her brows furrowed.

When she heard footsteps echo on the other side of the door, she quickly jumped back, waiting in front of the door. There was the sound of the chain on the door being unlocked, a key turning. A flutter of nervousness surfaced; what would he be like? Hopefully he'd understand the predicament and be helpful. With the wedding in a few months, she didn't need any more drama on her plate. The sooner they can get this divorce going, the sooner she can get back to Drew – get married.

The door opened – it felt as if it was happening in slow motion – and the nervousness rose to boiling point.

A man appeared in the doorway.

If she had any expectation of what her accidental husband would look like, they were absolutely overthrown. She would not in her wildest dreams have been able to imagine him. The man that stood before her had sun-streaked golden curls and the bluest, most intelligent eyes she'd ever seen. He wore a pinstriped three-piece suit; he quite literally looked like a leading man out of an eighteenth century romance novel.

"Hello?" He asked, his eyebrows quirking in curiosity.

That snapped her back to reality.

"G-good morning." She stuttered, feeling utterly stupid. She took a split-second to compose herself, reminding herself of what was happening here. She felt with her thumb Drew's engagement ring on her finger and the butterflies were immediately expelled. She's an engaged woman now, she reminded herself and smiled internally. "Good morning, sir. Are you Mister Patrick Jane?"

His face lit up with a wide and charming smile – so mischievous, it was almost as if he had read her thoughts, but she quickly ignored that thought.

"Yes, I am." He said, still smiling so very charmingly. He opened the door and stood to one side. "Would you like to come in?"

X

She sat in his kitchen on the single chair, while he boiled water in the kettle.

"I'm so sorry the place isn't more presentable. I just moved in and the truck got lost; they assured me they're working on the problem. Until then I'm stuck with the absolute minimum." He lied without a beat.

"That's alright." She said, feeling extremely awkward with the files on her lap, sitting in the Spartan kitchen.

"Can I offer you some tea?" He asked.

"Coffee, if you have it?"

He chuckled awkwardly. "I'm sorry. I only have tea."

"No thank you, I'm alright. I don't think this will take too long to discuss."

He stood there for a few more beats, ritualistically preparing the tea for himself. "So, Miss Lisbon..."

"_Agent_." She corrected.

"I'm sorry?" He turned to her, leaning against the cabinet to look at her while stirring the tea.

"I'm Agent Lisbon. I work in law enforcement."

"That's interesting." Again that smile. The more she saw the smile, the more she was beginning to have mixed feelings about it – about this man. The smile was, yes, dazzling, but it was also unnervingly wicked. His eyes glinted in such a way that made her feel he knew something she didn't... "So, _Agent _Lisbon, I'm assuming you didn't just show up at my doorstep with an envelope of legal papers just to say "hi"?"

She immediately frowned. "Legal papers?"

"Aren't they?" His eyebrow quirked challengingly.

She hesitated. "They are. But how did you know that?"

"Simple observation. The way you're clutching the envelope, they're obviously important. You've already made your law enforcement career known, though by your walk alone I could've told you that. So why are you here, Agent Lisbon? Am I being served?" Another one of those mischievous smiles.

"Should you be?" She countered.

He shrugged. "That's debatable."

"These are annulment papers."

That seemed to catch Mister Observant by surprise. "Annulment papers? Look, you seem very nice and all, but I think you're moving _way _too fast. After all, we've just met." A chuckle. "Or maybe you're just here asking advice?" He nodded towards her hand, where her engagement ring was glittering on her finger.

She drew a breath. "Look: I'm getting married. In two months."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you. But when we went to get the marriage license, we discovered there was a, uh... A _glitch_ in the system. We're married – you and I."

Jane choked a bit on his tea, but quickly recovered. "Married? You and I? How could that be? We've never even met."

"Like I said, there was a glitch. It's all a mistake."

"A _glitch_? Can that even happen?"

"Apparently."

"Well." He said, running his hand through his blonde curls. The sun through the dirty windows caught something on his hand; a golden glint, a wedding ring. Immediately she lowered her gaze, feeling extremely embarrassed and guilty over her previous thoughts about the handsome man.

He let out a heavy sigh, then let his hand down. "Look, I'm actually really late for something. But could I maybe meet you for coffee sometime later? We can talk about it then and I'll sign the papers, whatever."

"Oh. Oh yes, of course." She said, standing up. "It's a lot of news. Take some time, think about it. Consult your wife." Her eyes darted down to his hand. "And then we'll talk. Here's my number." She pulled one of her business cards out of her pocket and handed it to him. "Give me a call as soon as possible, and we'll figure out a time to talk that suits us both."

"That seems like a very sensible solution." He said with another smile and when she stood up to leave, he walked with her. "And uh... You don't have to worry about a wife going crazy over this little glitch-situation. She's not... she's not around anymore."

"Oh. I'm sorry." She said softly.

"It's alright." He gave a small smile and walked with her to the door, grateful that she didn't ask any more.

"One last thing?" She asked, turning in the doorway before he could say goodbye and close the door. "You said you could tell by my walk that I was a cop? What do you mean by that?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Nothing, Agent Lisbon. Nothing at all."

With one last dazzling smile, he shut the door in her face.

More than a little unnerved and slightly infuriated by her handsome accidental husband, Lisbon walked off towards her car.

Behind the closed door, Patrick Jane fingered the business card. It was simple and standard with the CBI emblem in the one corner. The words '_Special Agent Teresa Lisbon' _was printed on it, along with her phone number, fax and other details.

He took the card between his fingers and tore it through the middle.

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><p><strong>Alrighty! I hope you guys like this chap; I wanted Lisbon to be affected by Jane's appearance, but please don't go and automatically assuming she doesn't really love Drew. Jane is just... Jane. I mean really. Please give me feedback; I love hearing you guys' opinions. No lie: constructive criticism, suggestions and opinions really do help form my fics!<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 4**

**Wow, it feels so good to be back to writing; once again I'm hooked! That, combining with the super-motivating feedback so far, is why I'm updating so super-fast again. And loving it!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

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><p>"Alright, so let's figure this out." Lisbon said, leaning against one of the desks and staring at the blackboard earnestly. "There must be something we're missing. All the evidence points to Michaels being the murderer, but the timeline just doesn't fit. If video footage puts him at the bar from eight till eleven..." She mused, drawing a timeline in her chicken-scratch handwriting on the board. "And the time of the murder was around ten... How could he possibly have stabbed and killed the victim? All the evidence points to him."<p>

"Maybe the evidence is wrong. Maybe he's telling the truth and he was just there earlier?" Van Pelt ventured.

"No way. I was there in the interrogation room with this creep. He's guilty and smug as hell about it. He knows we don't have anything." Cho said. His frustration was shining through, a rare occurrence and a very clear indicator of how hard this case was on the team.

The gruesome murder of a young woman, found strangled and stabbed, lying in a pool of her own blood. The work of a truly savage murderer, one without conscience or a shred of mercy. Evidence pointed to Darren Michaels, a man with a long rap sheet and the profile of a potential serial killer. He had been a suspect in another murder case two years ago, but was acquitted – lack of evidence.

The team was exhausted and frustrated; days and days, working late on a case that wouldn't budge. Michaels had airtight alibi.

With a sigh, Lisbon relented. "Alright guys. It's lunchtime and I think we all deserve a bit of a break."

"Pizza?" Rigsby asked, earning a chorus of agreeable noises from the team.

"You guys go ahead. I'm meeting Drew."

"Enjoy Boss." Van Pelt said, smiling gleefully at her superior, and the rest of the team followed suit, exchanging pleasantries as they gratefully left for pizza.

X

The cafe was noisy, as it always was at lunchtime, and Drew was already waiting for her at their usual table when she arrived. When he saw her he stood up and smiled.

"Teresa, I was afraid you'd stand me up." He said.

"Sorry I'm so late. This case we're working on is terrible."

"I'm sorry." He said; flipping through the pages of the menu. A smile lit his face. "I think I know what'll make you feel better." His eyes shifted to the decadent chocolate cake that stood displayed on one of the shelves and he made a little gesture with his head.

She gave a little smile. "I'm not sure how much room I'll have after lunch. We could share?"

"Definite possibility... Teresa, there's something I need to discuss with you."

"Yes?" She asked, smiling up at waitress as she came to take their orders. It was a swift exchange as both she and Drew had their favorites.

Once the waitress was gone, Drew replied. "Well, it's been almost a week and you and this Jane-character haven't met again."

She sighed. "Yes, I know. I've been waiting for him to call me. I gave him my card and told him we'll set up a date to talk and sign the papers, but so far nothing."

"You gave him your card?" He seemed upset.

"Yes. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." The drinks arrived, and Drew sipped silently at his coffee.

Lisbon raised an eyebrow. "Drew. Don't be like this. I gave him my business card so he can make an appointment with me – so what?"

"Nothing. It just seems like... It's been almost a week, Teresa, and he hadn't even attempted to contact you. Time is ticking, we don't need any more distractions from the wedding."

She sighed. "Well, you're right that this is taking longer than it should. I guess I got a little distracted with work and didn't call to remind him or something. I'll call him again and set an appointment. For tomorrow, or as soon as possible."

X

"Patrick Jane." He answered the phone with the same unnerving confidence she remembered from their first meeting.

"Hello Mister Jane. This is Teresa Lisbon." After a few moments of silence, she continued. "We're married?"

"Oh yes, Agent Lisbon."

"It's been almost a week and you haven't called."

"Yes. I'm sorry, things got pretty hectic and I..."

"That's alright." She said, her eyes immediately shifting to the thick brown envelope sitting on her desk. "But I'd like to set up a date to meet and sort this entire business out as soon as possible."

"A date?" He asked teasingly. Against her will, she felt her cheeks warm.

"An appointment. Are you free tomorrow?"

A beat of silence passed. "I'm not sure if tomorrow works for me, I'll have to check my calendar and let you know."

"Mister Jane," She started, but Jane was beginning to mutter a quick and efficient brush-off.

An image of Drew's face at lunch flashed into Lisbon's mind and suddenly her blood began to boil. This man wasn't about to stall on this date – _appointment_ – any more.

"Mister Jane." She stated this time, her voice firm and commanding, as if she was giving orders to a new recruit. "Mister Jane, I hope you realize this isn't just a _game _for me. I'm getting married in less than two months. I don't need any more trouble and I certainly don't need any trouble from _you_. I know you didn't sign up for this, but neither did I. I just want to get this over with." By the end of her speech, she was panting, her face felt hot and there was silence on the line.

"Alright." The voice came after a while – he was clearly shocked and she was more than a little proud. "I'll clear my schedule. Lunchtime tomorrow."

She gave him a time and a place and victoriously hung up.

Hopefully she had scared him out of whatever was keeping him from reacting, and they could quickly resolve this entire, messy business.

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><p><strong>Well, obviously that isn't going to happen. Please review and let me know what you guys think!<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 5**

**Thanks for all the reviews and support, guys! **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

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><p>It was a beautiful sunny day when he drove into Sacramento the next day. The monotonic voice of the GPS-lady directed him down the unfamiliar streets towards the restaurant where they had agreed to meet; he really didn't want to get lost today.<p>

It seemed that his first impression of Agent Lisbon was incorrect. At their first meeting he had taken her as a calm, collected and completely professional woman; someone who would be utterly diplomatic and professional and cold-blooded, whatever the circumstances. That was certainly the profile she had built up for herself, and the impression that she left – even for someone of such acute skills as he. Maybe it was because she was used to being that person for her job.

But their phone call the previous day (and the reminding text message that morning) had started to paint a very different picture. The picture of a woman who was far stronger than her petite stature would imply; a woman that _knew _what she wanted and didn't flinch when she took it. A woman who held a lot more passion, emotion and anger inside of her that he had originally imagined. He would well and truly hate to get on her wrong side.

Still, in the smallest show of rebellion, he arrived five minutes late.

She was waiting for him in a booth by the window when he arrived. He hesitated just a bit when the hostess directed him to the table and the beginnings of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. She sat in the booth, staring out of the window, clearly enjoying the warmth of the sunlight that was streaming on her face. It glistened over her ebony hair, straightened to hang over her shoulders. She wore a tasteful violet tank top over the same style of black suit pants she had worn at their first meeting; a black blazer was draped over the seat, discarded because of the heat.

She was a pretty woman. He wondered for a moment why it had taken her so long to get married. Perhaps some issues with commitment? A troubled childhood, most likely.

Every moment that he spent with her, another dimension seemed to add to this intriguing person.

He walked towards the booth and sat down with a smile.

"Hello again, Agent Lisbon."

She startled slightly as his arrival pulled her back to reality, but quickly recovered and gave him a polite smile. "Mister Jane. It's good to see you again."

"You don't mean that." He said, smiling cheekily. "But you're happy to get away. What's wrong? Is it work?"

A faint line appeared between her brows and she glared at him. He hit the nail right on the head.

"What's it to you?"

"Well, back in the day I used to do some consulting for the police. I can help you?"

One of her eyebrows quirked disbelievingly. "You worked for the police? Seriously?"

"Yes."

"And how did you manage that?"

"I've got a... very specific skill set.

"And that would be?" This time with an amused smirk that made the deep dimple in her one cheek show.

Well, how could he turn down such a golden opportunity? "You're from a broken home. I'm guessing a parent died at an early age. Your... mother?" Her face darkened visibly and he knew he was right. "After that things weren't any easier. Your father drank and became violent. You were left to be a parent to your siblings."

"No." She said, smiling and shaking her head, confirming everything he had said as correct. He replied only with a smirk and he watched as her smile faded. "How do you..?"

"I see things most people don't. Imagine how much help I can be to you and your team."

She was silent for a moment and he thought he saw a flash in her green eyes, almost as if she was really considering it...

"No way." She said, crossing her arms.

He shrugged. "Alright then. Tell you what. Let's order. We'll have a nice lunch, we'll discuss everything. And if you change your mind..." He pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket and started scribbling on a napkin. "And decide you need my help, here's my number." He glanced up at her, that mischievous glint in his blue eyes once again.

"I doubt it." She said, but after the faintest moment of hesitation she took the napkin and pocketed it.

"So... what are you having?"

X

Patrick Jane was a hell of a charmer.

She was discovering this pretty quickly. When he wasn't being completely infuriating and maddening, he could charm a girl into her grave. They ended up talking much longer than she intended – or rather bantering. It seemed that to every dry, sarcastic comment she had, he had a witty quip in reply. During the – what was it? An hour? More? – of lunchtime conversation, she'd almost screamed in anger, burst into tears of laughing and blushed in embarrassment more times than she could keep count of.

Before she knew it, the lunchtime rush had faded – she was really, really late.

"I'm sorry, I have to get back to work." She said, getting up and putting a few bills on the table to cover her half of the check.

"Oh c'mon... I know you're pining for a slice of that death by chocolate-cake."

"No really, I'm late as it is." She said, brushing off the (completely accurate) cake comment. "I'll call you and we'll set up a date with the lawyers."

"Or when you decide you need my help."

"Goodbye, Mister Jane."

She exited swiftly, sending him one last crooked grin. Her badge glinted at her hip as she stood and he watched her disappear out the door.

Teresa Lisbon was... not what Patrick Jane expected. Though he would never in his life admit it.

He sighed and looked out of the window. It really _was _a beautiful day. The sky was clear and bright blue and cloudless, and the sun shone in golden yellow rays. He lifted his hand up and watched the golden ring on his left hand glow in the sunlight.

When he stood to leave himself a few minutes later, something caught his eye lying on her seat. The thick, brown envelope, holding the legal papers. She had brought it along for him to sign, but had forgotten.

He almost laughed.

But he made sure to take it before he left – he knew he'd be seeing her soon again anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>So what do you guys think? I'd love to hear your theories on what's going through Jane's mind. I'm curious to hear how many of you have it figured out. Please review and tell me all your thoughtssuggestions.**

**Much love, Zanny**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 6**

**Thanks for all the support, guys! Sorry for the long wait. January is REALLY hot here and it's draining by creativity.**

**In a mass-response, because I'm lazy: No, Jane is not stalling the annulment to get to Red John using Lisbon. Though so many of you are guessing that, I might have to change it. Maybe my plot isn't believable?**

**Also, little note: Madeleine Hightower is the head of the CBI here. Minelli would've retired some time or another, for other non-Red John reasons anyway.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

* * *

><p>She opened the front door and was immediately greeted by an onslaught of scrumptious aromas.<p>

"Drew!" She called as she unclipped her badge and took her gun out of its holster, placing both items on the table by the door. "You home?"

"In here!" Came the reply from the kitchen.

When she entered, the kitchen table was covered in large white dinner plates with fancy dishes ranging from steak to seafood. Drew was sitting on the table, filling a glass with red wine and smiling up at her.

"What's all this?" She asked, shrugging off her blazer and hanging it over the backrest of the kitchen chair.

"These are our options for our wedding dinner. Since our schedules are as busy as they are, the wedding planner dropped this off."

She looked down at the seemingly endless supply of plates. "We have to eat _all _it?" She asked disbelievingly.

He chuckled. "No, just taste. And hopefully decide which one we like best."

He patted the chair beside him and she slowly sat down. When she looked up at his face, he was frowning. "What's wrong?" He asked. "Bad day?"

"Yeah. Hard case. It's hard on the entire team."

He pulled her closer to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." She hugged him tighter and nuzzled his neck, allowing the musky scent to overwhelm her. "Let's just taste the dishes. The sooner we're done, the sooner we can get to bed. I just want to sleep this entire day off."

"Alright then." He kissed her on the top of her head and pulled back, starting to cut the steak. "Taste this." He said, holding the fork up to her.

They worked through every plate, tasting and commenting on the dishes.

"So..." Drew said, as they were sampling the lobster. "How did lunch go today?"

"It went well." She said, nodding.

"Did he sign the papers?"

The moment he said it, it hit her like a ton of bricks.

The papers.

Yes, the moment she left the restaurant she realized she had screwed up. Patrick Jane was a master of distraction; she had completely forgotten about why they were there. They had met up to discuss their situation. By the end of the meal they had discussed her job, the weather, politics, books, tidbits of childhood experiences... practically everything _but _their situation. What she didn't realize until right this moment, was that she didn't know where the papers were.

She retraced her steps in her mind – did she bring them back? Did she even remember to take them back from the restaurant?

"Uhm, he has the papers." She said. It wasn't exactly a lie, was it? It was a definite possibility that he found them and took them with him..?

"Well, is he going to sign them soon?"

"He's going to read them first. Then he'll sign them." The lies were coming uncomfortably smoothly. She felt sick, but she swallowed the lump in her throat and forged on. She looked at Drew, her green eyes locking with his brown, and gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. Everything will work out – soon."

He nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry I'm freaking out a bit. This is a weird situation..."

"I know." She scrunched her nose at the lobster-loaded fork. "I don't feel like eating anything anymore. I like the, uh... steak. The steak's good."

Drew chuckled. "Alright, we'll talk about this again when you're rested. Let's go to bed."

They walked upstairs together and went through the motions – changing to their sleepwear, washing their faces, brushing their teeth and finally crept under the covers. As Drew whispered into her hair how much he loves her and she snuggled closer to his warm body, she felt the guilt weighing heavy on her chest. The guilt for being so easily distracted by an overly charming blonde man, for forgetting the papers and, worst of all, for _lying _to her future husband. She promised herself then and there that she was going to get this entire situation sorted out, like she promised Drew.

The next morning she will call Patrick Jane, find out if he had the papers, and make him sign them.

X

The unforgiving ring of her cell phone woke her.

When she groggily managed to open one eye, a glance to her alarm clock told her it was 4:17. Half-blindly she grabbed at her bedside table until she found the phone.

"Lisbon." She answered.

"Agent Lisbon." The voice on the phone addressed her. Special Agent Hightower, her boss.

"Yes Ma'am?" She sat up, careful of Drew who was still fast asleep beside her.

"Things have just gotten much more complicated with the Michaels case. The victim has been identified."

Up to now, the victim had been a Jane Doe.

"How?"

"Her name was given in to Missing Persons last night by her mother. The news just reached me. Her name is Michele Berry. Her mother is a very good friend of the AG."

Lisbon flinched. "Alright Ma'am, I get it. This case needs to be closed yesterday."

"Make sure it is, Agent."

She hung up, and deflated in exhaustion. Beside her, Drew was still sleeping silently. She bent down and gently kissed his cheek.

Slowly she got up, quickly getting ready for what will probably be another _long day_.

When she pulled on her jeans she felt the pockets scrunch up uncomfortably, and she pulled the pockets out. The napkin from the day before's lunch, powdery blue with the number written over it in Jane's elegant handwriting, was crumpled up in her fist. She stared at it for a few minutes, contemplating. Beside her, Drew groaned and rolled over in his sleep.

Drawing a hesitant breath, she folded the napkin up in little squares and placed it back in her pocket.

* * *

><p><strong>This was honestly not my favorite chapter. Hopefully I'll get out of my rut and the writing will come easier again next chap. Please let me know what you guys think!<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	7. Chapter 7

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 7**

**Thanks for all the feedback, guys! Also, just to clear something up: I did not intentionally make the victim's name a fusion of the actress Lea Michele and her Glee-character Rachel Berry's names. It was purely subconscious, but I'm pretty amused that A) my subconscious can do that, and B) that so many reviewers picked it up! I am clearly not cut out to be a Mentalist... I'll just continue writing about Patrick Jane and not embarrass myself any further...**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

* * *

><p>She's been staring at the board for more than twenty minutes. The team hasn't arrived yet, but they will soon. They'll be arriving, waiting for orders on what to investigate next – and she had <em>no clue<em>. The stakes were higher than ever and she didn't even have the faintest idea where to begin. This entire case she's been feeling like she was wringing out this bone-dry case, hoping for just a droplet of evidence or the slightest whiff of a clue. Now it felt like the case had disintegrated into dust in her hands.

It felt like the napkin in her pocket was burning a small, square-shaped hole right through the denim of her jeans.

The conflicted feelings were killing her, making her feel uncharacteristically vulnerable with the strange uncertainty. Teresa Lisbon wasn't a woman who wavered. She made the practical decision, and she made that decision independently. But something about the napkin in her pocket made her left ring finger tingle...

She was engaged to be married.

And, technically, Patrick Jane was her husband – at least on record. And even though she, Mister Jane, and Drew all knew that there was absolutely _nothing _between them, Drew's reaction the night before suggested he might get upset.

She should probably discuss it with him first... That would be the smart thing to do for their relationship.

But that felt a hell of a lot like submission. And Teresa Lisbon was _not _submissive – she was a modern woman. Strong, independent. She never needed to ask anyone to make a decision before.

Besides, she had to call him anyway. She needed to find out if he had those _damned lost papers _with him, and she needed him to sign them ASAP. Why not ask him to give a quick opinion while he signs and initials?

With a huff of breath, she pulled her cell phone out and the napkin with it.

There were many rings before an answer came - the voice was surprisingly awake for this early hour.

"Hello Agent Lisbon." He greeted with a clearly amused tone. "Calling so early?"

X

"I got a call from Hightower last night." She announced to the team, leaning against one of the desks as she spoke. "The stakes have just gotten considerably higher. Our Jane Doe has been identified as Michele Berry. Her mother reported her as a Missing Person and an alert came up. Hightower called me herself to tell me."

Rigsby whistled. "Woah. That high up, huh?"

"Very. So that's why I've taken some... extraordinary measures to get this case cold."

"Is that who the blonde guy on the couch is?" Cho asked.

"Yes." Lisbon said, her green eyes flicking briefly to him. He took the opportunity to flash his most charming smile at her, hoping to earn some of that pink blush he finds so amusing. He wasn't disappointed. "Team, this is Mister Patrick Jane. He's got some... special skills that'll help us solve this case. Jane, this is Agents Rigsby, Cho and Van Pelt." She made the introductions briefly and in a highly professional tone. It reminded him of the one she used when she first showed up at his door, only much more commanding.

Another layer added to her: Lisbon the leader. A layer he had assumed was there from the start, but hadn't really seen. Except maybe for that flash of sternness when she reprimanded him over the phone...

"Special skills?" Cho, probably the most stoic and serious-faced man Jane had ever seen and clearly number two around here, asked, his skepticism clear in his tone.

"Like psychic?" Van Pelt asked, pretty eyes lighting up in young, naive, (and foolish) innocence.

"There is no such thing as psychics." Jane started the old speech. "There are simply highly tuned observations skills. I have them. But I did _pretend _to be one for many, many years."

The redhead rose one eyebrow, and seemed ready to say something back, when Lisbon interrupted.

"Psychic or no, he can help us. And right now we need help, or we're headed for a media crapstorm."

All eyes were on Jane, who sat perched on the rarely-used leather couch sipping tea.

"Can you do it?" Rigsby asked.

Jane's finely-trained azure eyes raked over the clear whiteboard, scribbled with a timeline and covered in pictures of Michele Berry, Darren Michaels and the scene.

"I might." He looked down at the cup of tea in his hand. "But I need better tea."

X

"You're right, he's guilty." Jane said, as he re-entered the bullpen, a fresh cup of newly-bought tea in his cup, coming from the interrogation room where Michaels was being held. "Garden-variety psychopath. Has he killed before?"

"He has a long rap sheet filled with everything from theft to assault, but all from his teenage years. He was a person of interest on a few murder charges, but was never convicted." Lisbon filled him in, handing him the file.

He waved the file off. "Meh. I don't need to read."

She quirked an eyebrow in annoyance, but swallowed the snarky comment that threatened to escape.

_He's a guest in the CBI, he's a guest, he's a guest. _She kept repeating to herself. _Media crapstorm ahead... It's just until he solves this._

"So?" She asked.

"That's it." He shrugged, sitting down comfortably on the couch. "He's guilty. What more do you need?"

"Well, some proof would be nice."

He pulled a face. "That seems excessive. Have you _talked _to the guy? His face alone is proof enough. Not to mention how he's obviously drawing some perverse pleasure out of being investigated."

She rolled her eyes. "That's not-... There's no-... We have to lock this guy up. That means he needs to be tried and judged as guilty without a reasonable doubt."

He sighed and heaved himself up. "Alright then. I guess I did promise you I'd help. I'll take another look at the case again."

She watched him walk over and look at the board; he had discarded his jacket and now only wore his vest over the pinstripe button-up. He stood out like a sore thumb in the bullpen full of cops, with their sensible professional wear. Much more formal, and much more elegant.

Even in the way he carried himself.

That thought made her think back to his comment when they first met. About her walk. About how he could tell she was a cop from it.

Her eyes drifted through the bullpen, over her team and the agents that hustled and bustled all around them. The way they sat, the way they walked.

Was it really that different?

Did _she _walk like that?

"You can stop obsessing, Lisbon." Jane's voice pulled her back to reality. "It's not that bad."

"What's not that bad?" She asked.

He gave her a look, one eyebrow raised. "Don't try and deny it. You're transparent. You were thinking about the cop-walk comment."

"What? I was not."

Her only reply was a smug grin before he continued to go over the board.

She looked around the bullpen. Every member of the team was busy with their own thing and no one was paying attention to them.

She hesitated before she spoke again, this time in a low voice. "Alright, what if I was? A cop's walk isn't that different... For your information, there are plenty of people who would never guess me as a cop."

He chuckled a bit and shook his head.

His nonchalant attitude was seriously getting on her nerves. She felt the annoyance bubble up, dangerously close to exploding.

"Just tell me!" She begged, her voice insistent despite her hushed tone.

He shrugged. "It's just... you know. Masculine. And annoyed. You can spot it from a mile away."

"Masculine and annoyed?" She huffed, her cheeks turning bright red.

"If you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked. Now could you leave me with my board, Lisbon? I'm trying to help you here!"

She stormed off to her office, leaving a confused-looking team (surprised by their boss' sudden exit) and a very amused Patrick Jane.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter came much easier. I tried to work in some bantering. Hopefully their relationship is believable and in character. Please review!<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	8. Chapter 8

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 8**

**Thanks for all the support! **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

* * *

><p>The bar was a dive; when she entered through the doors, accompanied by the sound of a bell, the smell of alcohol and stale vomit hit her. It was empty, except for a barman wiping the counter and a sour-faced cleaning lady mopping the floors with sweet-smelling detergent.<p>

It was almost lunchtime and she was hungry, but Jane had insisted.

He strolled in behind her - strolled being the only appropriate word, with the way he casually strutted, hands in his jacket pockets, casually taking in the worn interior of the bar.

"Mister Meas? I'm Agent Lisbon from the CBI, I believe some of my colleagues have talked to you?" She took out her badge and showed it to him. The barman, a scruffy, blonde-haired man with sleeve tattoos, raised an eyebrow, clearly not amused with more cops showing up at his establishment.

"The other cops said they had everything they needed. I gave them the tapes."

"Yes. But we just had some follow-up questions." She looked to Jane expectantly.

Jane, however, said nothing. His eyes were roaming over the walls, the pictures of has-beens and one-hit-wonders framed on the walls, the cheesy bar-decor made up of signed sport's jerseys and cartoons with drunken man's quotes printed on them. He seemed utterly fascinated by the place.

"Jane."

Her sharp tone made him snap back into the conversation. He looked the barman up and down.

"I'm Patrick Jane. I'm consulting for the CBI. What's your name?"

He stepped closer to the bar and sat down on a stool, right across where Meas was leaning on the counter.

"Dylan Meas." He said with an unimpressed tone.

"Dylan." He said with a smile. Then he looked to Lisbon. "Lisbon, do you mind if I spoke to Dylan alone?"

Lisbon raised her eyebrows. "I don't think that's such a good-"

"It'll be fine. I promise I won't cause any trouble. You're okay with speaking to me alone, aren't you?" He asked Meas. He shrugged, and Lisbon reluctantly nodded.

Slowly and with one last suspicious glance she exited the bar.

The streets were empty outside, so she climbed in the car and starting texting Drew. She wouldn't make their regular lunch date today...

X

Patrick Jane smiled his wide, charming smile at Dylan Meas.

"Dylan, did you really see Darren Michaels in your bar that night?"

Dylan nodded. "Yeah. He was here all night. I gave them the tapes too, doesn't that prove it?"

"He is on the tapes, yes." Jane shrugged. He was silent for another moment, looking around at the walls of the bar again. "This is a nice place you've got here. It _is _yours, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"You grew up round here didn't you? A California boy. You mind if I take this?" Jane asked and gently took Meas' wrist between his fingers. Meas didn't seem to notice.

"I grew up in LA."

"I can tell. You've got the sun streaks in your hair. You spent a lot of time on the beach, didn't you? You still do, when you get the time. I love the beach. Live right by it. Don't you love the beach?"

"Yeah."

"I love sitting on the beach with my toes in the sand... Just listening to the way the waves crash on the sand... Watching them. The way they pull back, rise up and crash on down, just to start the cycle all over again. Pull back, rise and crash... It makes you calm, doesn't it? Watching the waves. Hearing them crash. Such a steady rhythm..."

Dylan Meas was quiet and calm. His voice took a lower register when he muttered yes, his breathing slowed. His eyes were drooping.

"Are you calm, Dylan?"

He didn't answer, just nodded silently.

"Good. That's good. It feels good to be so serene, doesn't it?"

"Yes."

"Tell me, Dylan, you were working here the other night, right? The night that girl died, that the detectives told you about."

"Yeah. I was working the bar all night. Aiden was supposed to come in and help out, but she didn't show. Typical."

Jane chuckled softly and nodded. "Did you see Darren Michaels there that night?"

"No. I noticed because he's always sitting here by the bar, looking for trouble."

A smirk spread slowly on Jane's face. "I didn't think you did. Why did you tell the police that you did?"

"Michaels came in here and told me not to. Told me he'll beat me up an' trash my bar. I didn't want any trouble with the guy, I know his reputation. Plus, I'm not exactly a fan of the cops..."

"Yes, I understand. Me neither. How did Michaels fake that video, though? It's pretty good, fooled the cops. Almost me; _almost_."

"His brother has some fancy computers career. Can do anything with them. They showed up in the middle of the night, asked for a week back's footage and gave it back three hours later. Told me to give that to the cops if they asked."

"Thought so." With a wide smile he tapped Meas' wrist and with a small jot he seemed to be brought back to reality. "Thank you, Dylan. It's been really nice talking to you."

He walked out with a spring in his step.

X

"How did you do it?" Van Pelt asked him.

He was lying on the (surprisingly comfortable) leather couch in the bullpen, listening to the (surprisingly soothing) sounds of typing and office noise. Slowly he cracked one eye and looked at the redheaded agent who was looking at him curiously. "Hypnotism."

"Hypnotism?"

"Yes, hypnotism."

"I thought you said you weren't psychic, man?" Rigsby asked.

"I'm not. There are no such things as psychics. Haven't I already given that speech?"

"Isn't hypnotism kind of... unethical?" Cho asked.

"Hypnotism?" Lisbon asked. She had suddenly appeared in the doorway, coming back from a meeting with the boss. "You used _hypnotism_?"

He shrugged. "I'm not a CBI employee. I was helping you as a citizen. You got your confession; I don't see where the problem is."

She huffed, exasperated. "It's unprofessional! And unethical!"

"It got a murderer and a psychopath off the streets. _You... _should be thanking me."

The moment he said that comment, he regretted it (though he not once let the bravado fall from his face; she didn't have to know...). Her entire face took on a distinctly red colour and she looked like she was going to explode with anger. Kind of like a firecracker...

That metaphor seemed so oddly appropriate for her...

But instead of shouting or raving, she stormed off out of the bullpen towards the kitchenette – no doubt to make herself another pot of coffee to calm her down.

He thanked his lucky stars he wasn't working for her.

He couldn't imagine living through one of those outbursts if the CBI was actually accountable for his methods...

* * *

><p><strong>Little bit of irony there by the end. Wanted to make this a purely banter chapter. It's just to explore their relationship a bit more. Next chapter I'm planning a Jane-apology, and the papers will finally be mentioned! The characters may be a little OOC distracted, but Jane has a motive and Lisbon is a overwhelmed bride-to-be... So they both kind of have reasons. Please review and give me your opinions and thoughts!<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	9. Chapter 9

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 9**

**Thanks for the support, guys! I'm using the origami frog scene from the pilot – one of my favourite scenes ever – for inspiration for the apology scene. It's not exactly the same cause they're in their own bullpen.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

* * *

><p>She was giving him the silent treatment.<p>

Hightower, Lisbon's boss, had called her in to her office; when Lisbon returned, she looked _mad_. And now she was giving him the silent treatment.

Surprisingly, he felt guilty about it too. He didn't expect to feel guilty about it; he rarely did for his actions, especially when those actions did what they were supposed to do. They solved the case, didn't they?

But he didn't expect that a little hypnosis would get her into so much trouble.

The team was finishing up the last of the paperwork and he was lying on the couch, listening to the office sounds.

Letting out a sigh, he raised himself up from the couch and stood up. He casually strolled through the bullpen, grabbing a scrap of paper off Rigsby's desk, and headed towards Lisbon's office.

He entered without knocking and was greeted by a hell of a death glare.

"I'm still mad." Was all she said.

"I know." He nodded, still fumbling with the paper behind his back.

Moments later, he placed an object down on her desk.

She glanced up at it with a quirked eyebrow. It was a small paper origami frog.

"A frog?" She looked up at him. "Well, that makes everything better, doesn't it?"

He just smirked and slowly walked towards the red couch that stood in her office. It wasn't as plush and comfortable as the one in the bullpen, but it was the perfect viewpoint for...

_Pop! _

She jumped with start when the rigged frog jumped up. And she cracked a little, crooked smile.

A small smile spread over his face as well; he was off the hook.

X

"Oh, Jane." She called for his attention.

It's been a while since his (rather successful, if he had to say so himself) apology, and he'd been lounging on the couch since. Honestly, what else did he have to do?

"Yes, Lisbon?" He asked.

"I've been meaning to ask, but I guess I forgot..."

"You mean about the annulment papers that you so carelessly forgot at lunch the other day?"

"Yes." She blushed bright red, and he could tell without looking at her. "I don't know what's been going on with me. I've been so distractible, and forgetful... It's really unlike me."

"That's alright, Teresa. Even the best of women get bridal brain when their time comes."

"Excuse me? They get what?"

"Bridal brain." He said, cracking an eyelid and looking up at her in amusement. "You know, forgetful, easily distracted, constantly stressed, annoyed and irritable..."

"I _do not _have bridal brain."

"Alright, alright." He held up his hands defensively, and mumbled, "Though you sure _do _sound irritable."

He received another icy cold glare in reply.

"Whatever the case, I found the papers and took them with me. We can go get them after work if you like."

She sighed in relief. "Thank you, Jane. I really want to sort this thing out as soon as possible. It's really stressful and Drew is kind of freaking out about it, and... I just want this whole mess to be over."

He nodded understandingly. "Of course. You and me both, Teresa."

X

"Tonight?" Drew asked, running a weary hand through his hair. "Does it have to be tonight, Teresa? I've seen so little of you lately. I was hoping to make you a special dinner tonight. The wedding planner sent over all the different cake options..."

"It's to sign the papers, Drew."

"I thought you said you'd sign it today during lunch."

"We were working through lunch."

He sighed.

"I'll be back as soon as possible. He still has the papers at his place, so we'll just drive to Malibu, sign and I'll be right. We'll give the papers to your brother tomorrow and then this entire mess will be over. I promise."

"I don't like this, Teresa. Can't you sign the papers tomorrow? In daylight, in public?"

She chuckled over the phone. "C'mon, not this again. I thought you were over this silly jealousy thing. I don't even know the man!"

"But you're spending a lot of time with him. It's making me uncomfortable."

She shook her head. "You're being completely ridiculous. You have _nothing _to worry about. And I don't want to wait until tomorrow, I want to finish this as soon as I possibly can. Tell you what: I'll go and have him sign the papers, finish this entire thing off. You decide on the cake tonight – pick whatever you want, I don't really care that much about the cake. And then tomorrow night..." She drawled suggestively. "We can have a _very _special dinner. With no wedding planning, no cake samples, and no accidental husband dramas. Just you and me."

He drew a breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. She really wasn't getting it...

But on the other hand, he saw her point. He wanted this ugliness to end as soon as possible too, and he really didn't want to fight with her...

"Okay, fine. Drive careful, please."

"Great. Don't wait up, Malibu is a long drive."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

She hung up, pocketing her phone. She shook her head; Drew's jealousy, though she understood it up to a point, was getting annoying. She had told him over and over that there was nothing between her and Jane. The fact that he didn't trust her made her annoyed.

"You shouldn't blame him." A voice came from the doorway. She looked up and saw Jane standing there, a smirk on his face.

"What?"

"He's just a man. He can't help it."

"What are you talking about?" She frowned.

"You're getting annoyed with your fiancé because he's jealous. You shouldn't blame him. Any man would feel threatened if his girl is spending time with a handsome stranger. Especially if said handsome stranger is technically married to her."

"I'm not-..." She started, but he rose an eyebrow and she stopped. "Shut up. Are we gonna leave now or not?"

"Yep. I'll drive."

"No way."

"Why not?"

"I'm taking my own car. So I can drive back later tonight. And you don't want to leave your car here, do you?"

"No, but I want company. Malibu is a very long drive."

"Aw, you want company?"

Bantering, they walked out of the CBI together, into the dark and the cool evening air.

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me what you think! Next chap: the real turning point of the fic. <strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	10. Chapter 10

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 10**

**This is the big one, guys! The one where all the things happen. Hope you guys like it.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

* * *

><p>"Come on in." He said, opening the door with a flourish when they arrived at his Malibu home.<p>

"Thanks." She said, walking into the threshold. Inside she saw the walls were still empty; there stood a couch and coffee table now in the living room and they looked brand new, and the dust had been cleaned out, but the place was otherwise still bare. "Has the truck not gotten back yet?" She asked.

He lifted his head in brief confusion, but then quickly realized what she meant. "Oh, no they sorted it out. They gave it the wrong address; it ended up somewhere in the Midwest. But it's on its way back as we speak."

"That's good. It must be horrible staying in such a big, empty house." She made small talk.

"You get used to it." He said softly. Then: "Would you like some coffee before we get right to business? I bought some especially for you."

X

Coffee went on much longer than they had planned. In fact, they ended up talking for hours.

Jane had even pulled the couch and coffee table across the empty living room floor to a position in front of the large glass doors, so they could watch the ocean while they enjoyed their hot beverages. The ocean breeze was salty and cool; she had pulled her hair free from the sleek ponytail it was pulled back in for work, and let it get gently tossed by the gentle wind.

They talked about a lot of things; they talked about her work and how she got where she was. Somehow he even coaxed her into talking about her family... It wasn't awkward, though. He didn't stare at her like she was weak. In the place of pity, there was real understanding.

Soon, the conversation took a turn. One she didn't expect.

"Why are you marrying Drew?" He asked, leaning back casually on the couch.

"What?" She asked, taken aback.

"No, no, I just mean... Marriage is a lifelong commitment. What made you choose him?"

Lisbon was still not completely comfortable with the question, but it seemed valid enough. "Drew is a wonderful man. He treats me well, and he's kind and sweet..."

"Do you love him?" The question was so direct, so unyielding, it nearly threw her off her feet. He was staring at her with those brilliant blue eyes of his, eyes that could see through anyone, and she couldn't look away.

"I-I..." She stumbled. "Of course I do."

He frowned. "Are you sure?"

She was silent for just a beat; then her defensive nature kicked in, and it kicked in hard. "Of course I do!" She jumped up, fists balling up and anger bubbling up inside of her. "What gives you the right to question my relationship with Drew? You haven't even met him."

"Am I questioning you relationship, Lisbon? Because it sounds to me that you're questioning it yourself." His voice was calm and calming. "And," He continued, "I know him more than you think I do. From the things you told me, from the things the team's told me... I know him well enough to know that you two might be happy now, but the moment you get over this honeymoon phase you'll grow to resent each other." For a few moments she stood silent – partly breathless from her small outburst and completely speechless from his statement. She had never questioned her love for Drew; why would she? They worked together. And at her age, she couldn't afford to be picky...

She almost physically shook her head as she dispelled the forbidden thoughts. He was _planting _these ideas in her head.

"Drew is everything I've looked for in a man." She said. Her voice wavered, but she ignored it and forged on. "We work well together, and..."

"And _what _Teresa?" He asked, suddenly angry. He stood up as well, towering above her, with his blue eyes blazing now. "Why do you do this to yourself? Settle for a relationship with someone who doesn't challenge you, someone who you _know _won't make you happy."

"Drew challenges me plenty." She argued.

"Oh please. You tell yourself he's strong enough to handle you because he doesn't play doormat, but deep inside you know that he can't handle everything that's inside of you. I bet you haven't even told him about your family yet, about your childhood?"

"You don't know anything about Drew, you don't know anything about our relationship, and you certainly don't know _anything _about me!" She yelled.

"Wrong. In just a few days, I know you better than your fiancé will ever know you. And that's why I know you don't really love him."

He felt the punch before he had the chance to see it; her tiny, balled fist collided with his nose painfully, making his eyes tear immediately.

"You bastard." She spat. "You have no right..."

He drew a hesitant breath, still clutching his nose. "And that's why you're reacting like this. You know I'm right. You know you really don't love him. Not enough, anyway."

"You're an ass." She shouted and moved to run off, but he grabbed her elbow and pulled her back to her.

She landed against his chest with a thud, and she immediately started resisted, banging her fists against his chest. He grabbed her wrists, holding them until she stopped with a huff.

"You deserve to be happy, Teresa." He said, his voice a whisper now. "You don't have to settle."

"I'm not settling." She whispered dangerously. "What do you know anyway?"

He was silent for a moment; his eyes were on her lips, and she was suddenly aware of how _very _close they were. She was pressed right up against his chest and he was clutching her wrists in his hands. And she wasn't moving, even though her brain was shouting at her to do so.

And then it was happening. He was kissing her, his soft lips against hers. She stood absolutely still in shock, but he didn't move; and his lips felt _wonderful _and _right_... And before she knew it she was kissing him back. She was kissing him back and the world was spinning and she felt like she was going to faint; she clutched his shoulders as support and his arms encircled her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. And they were backing away into the living room, up the stairs...

X

She woke up when the morning sun streamed through the curtain-less windows. It had to be the crack of dawn and she was still exhausted, but when she lazily cracked open one eye she was greeted by a pair of wide-awake azure eyes, staring at her, crinkled at the corners from a wide, happy smile.

"Hi." He said. His voice was husky from sleep.

"Hi."

"Do you regret it?" She smiled in amusement; was Patrick Jane insecure? His voice would certainly suggest so. He quirked an eyebrow at her smile. "And that means..?"

"It means that I've never heard you sounding anything less than overconfident. I think I like this more... You seem more real..."

He smiled a small smile. "What are you going to do?"

She swallowed. "I don't know. But I... I don't regret this. I think..." She trailed off and nervously played with the seams on the sheets she was wrapped up in, not knowing how to articulate the things she was feeling.

She was saved when he took her hand in his and threaded their fingers. Pulling her closer, he kissed the top of her head. "I know. Me too." She felt his smile against her temple.

They lay there for many moments in silence.

She felt overwhelmed; a million things were running through her head. What was she going to do? She had never, not once, felt this connected to Drew. But then she had just met Jane. She really didn't know anything anymore...

He sensed how preoccupied she was and decided to save her. He could relate – he had a lot of things to think about too.

"You know what, I'm gonna go make us some breakfast. You wanna come along, or go grab a shower..?"

"I think I need that shower."

"Alright." He bent over and gently kissed her lips. "And just so you know... I don't regret it either. At all."

X

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in the single towel that hung on the towel rack. She hoped he didn't mind; like everything in his house, there didn't seem to be anything more than the necessities for one person in the bathroom.

She quickly went through the paces, drying off, towel-drying her hair and getting dressed. Her outfit from the previous day was crinkled and it made the guilt of her betrayal sting even deeper. But even so, the shower had been refreshing and had given her valuable time to think. And, hard as it was, she had made her decision.

She knew what she had to do.

For herself and for Drew.

It wasn't fair to either of them to go into a marriage where she would be unhappy. And she knew she would be know; if she was honest she always knew she would be. She and Drew were excellent friends; they would make excellent colleagues. But romance had always been an effort for them, from the start. Romance was a bargaining chip and a planned event; there had never been any spontaneous moments or... butterflies. They were a comfortable couple; she had thought that was what she wanted.

Until she met Patrick Jane. Who was dashing and charming and made her feel like she was floating above the ground. Who made her angry and exhausted and at ease and ecstatically happy. He made her _feel_. And he read her like an open book.

If she didn't make this decision this way, she would always regret it.

Her heart skipped a beat as she walked quickly down the hallway, looking for him. She needed to tell him; she hoped he'd be happy...

Halfway down the hallway, she stopped – all the doors were shut, but one. The door at the end was open just a bit, and she felt her heart race. Maybe he was in there.

A wide smile spread over her face and she crept closer, extended her hand to open the door.

Once the door swung all the way open, her smile fell.

It felt as if the blood had run cold in her veins.

"Oh..."

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><p><strong>This was a rather long one, but I had to get all of it in there. It almost felt like I put TOO much in, but I wanted to make this the BIG chapter with ALL of it in there. I hope you guys liked it. I hope it didn't come out too "and then, and then, and then..." if you know what I mean. I hope there was some tension and real emotion in there. Please review!<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	11. Chapter 11

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 11**

**Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to update, especially after that cliffhanger. School started and I've been overwhelmed by too many things to do.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

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><p>Like always, it was the first thing she saw when she opened the door: the bright red face on the bare wall, displayed like a work of art.<p>

Seeing it again made a thousand, icy shivers pass over her spine, made her freeze in her place, and made her breath catch in her throat.

"Lisbon?"

His voice sounded behind her in the hallway, but she didn't turn to face him. Maybe she was in shock...

"Lisbon, I can..."

"Don't." She said, shaking her head. She turned in the threshold, looking at him. He was wearing his boxer shorts and his unbuttoned shirt from the night before; his attire and the way he looked at her seemed _vulnerable_. More so than she'd ever seen. But there was something else in his eyes as he looked over her shoulder and saw the bloody face on the wall behind her. Something dark and scared and angry.

She swallowed, feeling intense regret sinking down on her. Regret for falling for this, regret for the mistake she was about to make... Regret for neglecting to bring a gun...

"Who are you?" She asked, her voice wavering despite her greatest efforts to keep it steady and calm.

He was silent for what felt like forever; his blue eyes looked past her.

After waiting too long, she decided that who he was wasn't all that important. She rushed off past him, down the stairs. She had to get her keys, get into her car and _get out of here_.

"Lisbon." He called after her and she heard his footsteps as he ran to catch up. He grabbed at her elbow, but unlike the night before she didn't let him overpower her and pull her towards him. She pulled back and escaped his grasp, running down the stairs.

He caught up to her when she got downstairs and went for her bag and her keys. He grabbed her at the shoulders and turned her to look at him.

"WHAT?" She yelled, turning her face away.

"You took him away from me!" He screamed at her. His strange outburst made her look at his face, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and what she saw there was unexpected. His eyes were watery and already single tears were escaping and running down his cheeks; they were wild with emotions that she couldn't even begin to place.

"I what?"

"You took him away. He was supposed to be _mine_; _I _was supposed to kill him! And then you and your team started working the case."

"Two years ago..." She remembered now. The Red John case was newly assigned to her team – an unexpected break came. One of the serial murderer's twisted little friends slipped up – a stupid, young man named Hardy – and he lead them right to him. Red John died from two bullet holes, shot from her gun.

The name _Jane_...

Images started flashing through her mind; two victims of that name, a woman and her daughter. Some records of the father's mental breakdown stapled onto the file...

"Two years ago you took your revenge from me. My redemption." He said. His eyes were faraway now, his voice a low rumble. "I didn't know what to do for some time... Until I realized the only way I could receive redemption, was to take my revenge on _you_..."

She looked up at him. Her own eyes were now brimming with tears now as well; tears of fear, of anger, of extreme sympathy for the terrible things this man had to endure. And then of the realization that she had been played like a puppet on a string.

"You set up the glitch."

He didn't respond to her statement. "I read up on you; found out who you are, what you are. The workaholic supercop with the cool and calm reputation; then I read an email to your brother saying you got engaged..."

"How did-..?"

"And then I realized what I had to do. You're a middle-aged woman; you have workaholic habits; this is your one chance at love. I knew that was my chance."

He was panting by the end of his speech. He looked up at her; for the first time since she opened the door upstairs they made eye contact. And for just a fraction of a second she saw a glimpse of the man she knew the night before. The utterly complex, completely overwhelming, breathtakingly beautiful person she got to know. With whom she connected so deeply with. It was like just a flutter of light passing over his face.

"S-So..." She stammered, and she realized that tears were falling on her cheeks. "So you created the glitch to mess up my relationship with Drew?"

"I had to..."

Her mouth opened, but no words came out. After a few moments of silence she pulled out of his grasp; with a frown and one last, lingering look, she grabbed her bag and the pile of papers off the coffee table and left.

X

The sound of her SUV's screeching tires as she pulled out the driveway and sped away made his knees go absolutely weak, and he sunk down to the ground. He leaned back and the sharp edge of the stair dug into his back. But he didn't care...

A deep sigh puffed out into the silence. What was wrong with him?

Of course he knew the answer.

Revenge.

The thing that plagued him every second of every day, that's been depriving him of dreams and replacing them with vivid nightmares instead. It made him live a half-life ever since that terrible night he discovered Angela and Charlotte, lying there on the bed...

Tears stung his eyes just thinking about it.

What was he supposed to do? What would anyone do in his position? There was no prescribed reaction for discovering your wife and child murdered and mutilated. Revenge was the obvious one; but what when the revenge is taken away from you?

Apparently then you get obsessed with the raven-haired, petite supercop that took the serial killer down. You read up on her; on the cases that made her career. You hack into her email account and get to know the person behind the newspaper articles and PR-appearances. And you pull every string you have to pull left from your old fake-psychic days to create an epic, untracable "glitch".

One that would absolutely and completely ruin her life.

But then a completely unexpected thing happened.

She wasn't what he thought she'd be.

Patrick Jane, the amazing charlatan that sees all and knows all, was wrong. She was nothing like the cold-blooded, gruff cop-cutout he had imagined from the emails and newspaper clippings; he knew it the first day she showed up at his door, and really realized it the day of their lunch date. She was possibly one of the most complex people he's ever known – excluding himself of course. She was naively righteous and unfortunately damaged; though her aggressive leadership style was almost always apparent, she had the kindest spirit and a never-ending sense of compassion. She was intelligent and witty, and breathtakingly beautiful.

And more than once during his little game, he found that he forgot about his little plot. While sitting and talking for hours, with the crashing waves and a moonlit night as background, he got lost in her vivid green eyes, her charmingly crooked smile and the sharp sarcastic comments she made at his jokes.

For several minutes he wasn't Patrick Jane, the only family member left from a tragic Red John-murder; he was just Patrick, and the name slipped comfortably and beautifully off her tongue.

He couldn't help asking her if she really loved Drew. The way she was looking at him... He knew that in that moment, she felt _more _for him. And he didn't want to lost the moment, lose her, _ever_.

The fight that ensued wasn't part of the plan; neither was sleeping with her.

But what does that matter now?

It's all in shatters...

He had failed on two counts.

Not only will he never avenge his daughter and wife, even indirectly.

He might also have just ruined the only chance of happiness he would ever receive again.

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><p><strong>So there you have it! That's the dramatic backstory! I hope you guys approve and that it's not an anticlimax. Next chapter: the fall out. Please let me know what you think!<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	12. Chapter 12

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 12**

**Hi guys! Sorry for the super long wait. I really don't mean it, but school's really hectic and I'm really swamped. Thanks for all the feedback!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

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><p>She looked at her face in the mirror.<p>

She'd never looked quite this glamorous ever in her life.

Her hair was made up in an elegant up-do, glossy black tendrils framing her face, and her grandmother's heirloom pearl earrings on her ears. Her face was made up tastefully with her eyes painted in subtle nude colours that highlighted the green in her eyes. But the eyes that stared back at her were sad.

"So, what do you think?" The wedding planner swooned, fawning over her.

She nodded. "I like it."

"The earrings are perfect, I'm so happy you mentioned them. You're going to be the most beautiful bride." She continued to babble on in her usual bubbly fashion, elaborately thanking the hairdresser for making the 'vision' come to life.

She looked down to her wristwatch. "I gotta get back to work, can we..?"

"Oh yes, of course! Annabel, why don't you take the pins out of Agent Lisbon's hair?"

X

She drove out of the parking lot with some mindless, meaningless pop song playing on the radio. Traffic was piled up on the way to the CBI and she was left with long moments to herself – with her thoughts.

She hated these silent moments and she had since that morning.

She hooted the car horn at the traffic in hopeless frustration and took a sip of her lukewarm coffee, actively trying to expel the thoughts returning.

She was thankful for the distraction when her phone vibrated on the seat next to her.

_One new text message: Drew_

She pressed the right button and the message flashed up on the screen:

_Hey – how'd the hair thing go?_

A small smile spread on her face and she typed back.

_Good. Planner's happy. Off to work now, I'll pick up dinner on way back. Chinese or pizza?_

She sighed as she pressed send.

She knew that Drew knew something was up. How could he not know? She'd been stuck in this rut since that morning she returned from Malibu, eyes swollen and heart heavy. He had asked her about it only once. When she eluded the subject, he gave it up and wrote her tension off as simple and harmless wedding jitters. Not that she didn't enforce that idea; she did everything she could to try and forget about Patrick Jane and his stupid beautiful face. And his smile, a his wit, and the way he made her feel like the only important person in the world...

And his lies. And deviousness. And cruel, cold heartless behavior...

Drew asked her when she returned late that morning. He had asked why she stayed so late and what was wrong; she had only said that it was done and that was that. She didn't want to talk about it anymore.

She handed him the papers, and when he left, beaming, to give them to the lawyer she locked herself in the bathroom and cried.

She cried because when she remembered the envelope on the passenger seat when she drove into Sacramento, she found them signed. She found Jane's signature at the bottom of the page in his elegant handwriting, and a note scribbled on a post it.

_The decision is yours. I love you. _She clutched that note in her fist when she angrily wiped away her tears.

And now she was single again – and ready to get married.

The phone buzzed again and she opened the message.

_I'm sorry for lying to you. I'll keep telling you even if you ignore my messages. P_

Her heart skipped a beat and she felt the heavy emotion rise up inside of her once again.

He'd been sending texts like this and leaving messages on her cell. She'd ignored every one.

He had manipulated her and used her; now he was extending this little game _way _too far. Her wedding was a little more than a week away. Still, she couldn't bring herself to press the reply-button. Not even to type a nasty, less-than-savory 'stop harassing me'-message.

The phone buzzed again; a message from Drew.

_Whatever you like. I'll be waiting. Love you X_

Shaking her head, she drew a deep breath. She was being completely irrational and childish; fussing over a charming stranger that couldn't and wouldn't have turned into anything real when she had a perfectly wonderful man already. One who wanted her and loved her. And was committed to walking down the aisle with her.

She was being stupid.

So she typed a reply: _Love you too _to Drew. And ignored Jane's message again.

The traffic started to move.

X

No reply again.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and put his phone back in his pocket.

Every day he'd sent her a text like this. Every day, hoping she'd reply. And he would until the day of her wedding.

But nothing.

A deep sigh and he stared up at the blue sky.

This wasn't easy for him. Patrick Jane didn't run after women.

But there was something so very different about Teresa Lisbon. Something so deeply beautiful, so incredibly unexpected, that it overthrew his plans for revenge and made him fall head over heels. It made him willingly chase after her like a lovesick puppy, sending her text messages and leaving messages full of apologies and pathetic pleads.

Once he even drove off to Sacramento, to find her and plead his case in person.

When he saw her she was walking out of the CBI headquarters on the arm of her fiancé. He silently climbed back in his car and drove off.

It was clear she made her decision – the _smart _decision, if he was being honest. And he had said on his note on the papers the choice was hers...

But then he was so sure she'd choose him...

He didn't even consider how much it would hurt him if she chose Drew.

He knew he should stop; she's a soon-to-be-married woman. And a cop on top of it. Technically she could have him arrested for harassment or something.

But the idea of just letting her forget about him just wasn't his style. He'd remind her that he wanted to be with her until the day she walked down the aisle, despite the lack of response and apparent hatred.

What else could he do?

He was an idiot who made the _worst _imaginable mistake possible. He ruined his chance with the woman he loved, and now he was paying for it. He'd pay for it forever.

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><p><strong>It's kind of difficult getting into the writing swing with things this hectic. Hope it wasn't too terrible though. Please let me know what you guys think.<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	13. Chapter 13

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 13**

**I'm gonna start wrapping this story up very soon. Time-wise and otherwise, it's becoming too hard to write and I want to finish it up while I'm still interested enough to try and make it good. Sorry for the long waits, things are just a bit too hectic at the moment.**

**Disclaimer: nothing's mine**

* * *

><p>The days passed like seconds; it felt like she had barely blinked, and there it was.<p>

The date that was so elegantly typed on the invitations had arrived – a gorgeous Friday afternoon in the spring. The sun was out and shining brightly and a soft, sweet breeze played in the air.

She was sitting in the old building beside the church where the kids would go to Sunday School, by the window. There was a lemon tree outside and she watched the little white blossoms as they swayed back and forth from the breeze.

"Where's my other shoe? I could've sworn I-?" Grace, her maid of honor, fumbled around behind her, looking for the missing stiletto. Lisbon's eyes shifted beside her and she spotted it on the floor by her chair.

"Here it is, Grace." She said, picking it up and handing it to her red-headed subordinate. She accepted the shoe with a grateful smile, and her pretty blue eyes lingered on her boss's beautiful and sad face for just a moment.

"Boss..."

"Yeah?" Lisbon answered, looking up.

Grace hesitated for a moment. Then: "Nothing. You look beautiful."

A small, shy smile spread over Lisbon's face. She's always been too modest.

"Thank you, Grace."

"Do you need something? A little champagne maybe, for the nerves?"

After a brief pause, Lisbon nodded and Grace exited to go look for the champagne.

Lisbon was left alone in the room.

Slowly she walked towards the mirror propped up on one of the tables, sitting down to look at her reflection in it.

The face that stared back at her felt completely strange.

The make-up, the hairstyle, the dress... It was all the creation of her bubbly wedding planner. The only familiar thing about the face that stared back at her was the pearl earrings from her grandmother's jewelry box. And even that felt untrue – corrupted.

_You're being stupid... _She thought to herself, shaking her head to expel the forbidden thoughts. _It's just wedding jitters. Every bride gets them. _

She looked down at her phone that lay on the table. Her fingers reached for it; they shivered, but she managed to type in the number.

She brought it up to her ear.

_You have no new messages. _The recorded voice told her. _To listen to previous messages, press one... _

Before she could continue with the list, Lisbon hastily pressed the number and the next few until she brought up the phone and heard a different voice speak. A distinctively masculine one, the voice of the man that used to be her husband not too long ago. The voice of the man that _tricked _her and _deceived _her and _betrayed _her.

Patrick Jane.

_Hi... _He said, and paused.

His voice sounded absolutely broken, more sincere and raw than she'd ever heard it. Even in some of the more teary and emotional messages, he hadn't sounded like this... But then again, the man was a professional con.

_You're getting married tomorrow. _The voice continued. _ And I know I promised that I'd stop calling when you get married, so... _

He stalled again. Her heart felt a little heavier, and she blinked the threatening tears away.

_I don't want to make your life difficult, Teresa. I know that's what you probably think. And I know you must hate me and be annoyed at me leaving all these messages and texts... if you're even listening to them and reading them at all... But since this is the last chance I'll probably ever get to say this – _

_I love you._

_And I'm sorry I hurt you. I've never regretted anything more in my life. And I've made a _hell _of a lot of mistakes... _

He drew a long, deep, shuddering breath.

_I understand you've written me off. I know I have no chance of winning you back. I guess I never even really had you. At best, it was one, beautiful moment of utter stupidity out of your part. I can't expect you to go back to it, not after what I've done... Why am I even doing this?_

She swallowed as she realized, like she did the night before when this message first arrived, that tears were falling down his cheeks at this point.

_I'm never going to stop loving you. And I need you to know that, despite my intentions... In the end I guess my revenge backfired. I was supposed to ruin your life. But tomorrow you're going to get married to a man you love and who deserves you... And I'm going to be absolutely, miserably alone, knowing it was my own stupidity and vengefulness that cost me... another chance at true love. I wish you happiness, Teresa Lisbon. I won't call again. _

The dial tone.

The most unforgiving, horribly monotonic sound the world has ever known.

And then the lady: _End of message. Next message: _

She hung up before she could listen to the next one, throwing the phone down at the table in unwarranted anger.

"Teresa?" She looks up.

Drew's standing in the doorway, with two flutes of champagne.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, of course." She said, and when she looked into the mirror she saw that there were silver teardrops running over her cheeks. Thankfully, tears weren't strangers at weddings – the planner had produced smudge-proof, waterproof make-up.

She wiped the pesky droplets away with minimum damage.

"Sorry, just getting a little nostalgic."

Drew smiled a crooked smile. "Doesn't seem like you. Maybe this'll help." He handed her the champagne flute. "I caught Grace in the hall. Told her I was breaking tradition and I'll bring it."

"What _are _you doing here? Didn't you hear it's bad luck?" She asked mirthfully.

"I'm not superstitious." He sat down on the couch and patted the spot beside him for her to join him. She did.

"You look really beautiful." He said, watching as she took a long sip from her drink. "Absolutely breathtaking."

"You don't look too bad yourself." She said and drew her eyed him – dashing in his tuxedo – with her signature crooked smile, but the cheeky, amused glint lacked in her green eyes.

"You don't have to do this." He said.

Her eyes shot up to meet his, shocked.

"What?"

"I said you don't have to do this."

"A-Are you..?" She stuttered, at an absolute loss for words. "Are you getting cold feet?"

He chuckled lightly. "No, Teresa." His eyes went to the phone on the table. "I'm not stupid, you know. I knew from the beginning there was something-... something different between you and him. The way you spoke about him, made excuses for him. The way you looked when you came back from your meetings... You looked happier, even when you were angry." He chuckled again. When he caught her expression he shook his head. "I'm not angry at you. I get that you never meant for it to happen. Look at you: you're in the dress, wearing the shoes, ready to walk down the aisle for me and everything. I bet you fought it all the way, didn't you?"

She was speechless.

"I love you, Teresa. You're an amazing woman. And there was a time that I thought I could make you happy. In fact, even now nothing in the world would make me happier than marrying you right here, right now. But if you walk down that aisle knowing that you don't really love me – or even that you don't love me as much as you love him – then we're never going to be happy together. No chance."

She swallowed and looked at her hands.

"It's okay." He said, smiling at her and taking her hand. When she looked up she saw tears brimming in his eyes. "You don't have to be sorry."

"I can't." She whispered.

"I'll be fine. I promise. Go. I'll handle the guests."

Teardrops spilled from her eyes and she bent forward to press a long, loving kiss on Drew's lips.

"Thank you." She whispered.

She stood up and walked to the doorway.

She paused and with one last, lingering look over her shoulder and a thankful smile, she walked away.

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><p><strong>Alright, there we go! Maybe one more chapter and then an epilogue? We'll see. Lemme know whatcha think!<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	14. Chapter 14

**The Accidental Husband: Chapter 14**

**Thanks for all the support, guys! Next chap'll be the epilogue, so I guess this is the last official chapter then: the big **_**confrontation **_**scene. Ooh... Well, let's get right to it!**

**Last thing - Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

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><p>It was a beautiful church – placed on the outskirts of Sacramento, where the city dissolved into clusters of suburb and things were quieter. It was small, fitting to the couple to be married there today, and was surrounded by a large, green garden filled with neatly trimmed flowers and a blooming lemon tree by the entrance.<p>

From where he sat in his parked car, just down the road from the entrance, he could hear the romantic piano music sounding from inside the excited conversation of the guests.

He didn't really want to be here – or at least he knew that he _shouldn't _be here. He's been arguing with himself about this since last night when he left his official last message on her voicemail. But this morning when he woke up, instead of driving to the grocery store to buy milk, he got on the I5 and ended up here. Since then he's listed the innumerable amount of reasonable, sane and _good _arguments on why he really should just start the car and drive away.

The arguments were loud in his head, but the inside of the car remained silent and it never moved.

He watched the first guests walk in, laughing, in every shade of pastel imaginable. He listened to their happy laughter – it was a happy day, after all, a wedding – and he watched the wind gently sway the branches of the lemon tree.

She was in there; he knew it. Probably in that little Sunday school building beside the church, having her make-up applied by one of her wedding planner's lackeys by a makeshift boudoir, pinning her hair up in a messy but elegant up do, putting on some sentimental piece of heirloom jewelry.

He could just imagine her in his mind's eye; she's always beautiful, but she'd be absolutely breathtaking all dressed up in white.

When he felt the now familiar tug of longing in his aching heart, he let his head fall down on the steering wheel with a thud.

He was truly a masochist.

A strange interrupted his thoughts and made him frown against the wheel; the sound of rustling fabric – a lot of it – and the slam of bare feet on the road.

He lifted his head and saw it – saw _her_. Running down the road, long white dress waving in the wind and high heeled shoes in her hand.

For a moment he was stunned speechless for a moment, but after a frozen beat he jumped up and out of the car.

"Teresa?" He called. His head felt light with adrenaline.

She stopped in her tracks and turned.

He was right – absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous. Her hairstyle was disheveled from her run down the road and tendrils hung wildly around her face. And her face was made up just like he imagined, elegant and beautiful.

"P-Patrick?" She stuttered, her pink-painted lips trembling. "What are you-?" Her green eyes flashed between him and the church building. "Did you come to-?"

"No." He shook his head. "I didn't come to do that. I don't know why I came. I just couldn't stay away."

She frowned, clearly still skeptical, but said nothing further and he was grateful. He took a few slow and hesitant steps towards her.

"You look..."

"Yeah..."

He extended his hand and tucked a rebel curl behind her ear.

"It's all the planner's work." She continued in a wavering voice. "I can hardly recognize myself."

"Lemme help with that." He said, and he reached behind her and pulled the pins from her hair one by one. Her hairstyle fell completely apart, leaving the curling, ebony locks to fall freely around her face and wave in the breeze. A smile tugged at his lips at the sight of her. "There you go."

The deep dimple in her one cheek showed itself as her crooked smirk appeared on her face.

Her beauty struck him once again, all at once, and suddenly he forgot everything. The church with her wedding guests and should-be husband in it, the collapsed plan of vengeance, her apparent hate for him and his guilty feelings... All was gone.

It was just her, there before him in the cool spring afternoon air, her eyes strikingly green and her hair wild and her lips _right there_.

He must've only leaned in for a second, but the time stretched longer than he could possibly keep track of.

He half expected resistance – a sudden, sharp slap on the cheek followed by a cold, biting remark – but it never came. Their lips inched closer and closer until...

The kiss was electrifying, like it had been that first night. The air around them sparked, and his head turned dizzily.

When they broke they were both a little out of breath.

"Should we maybe get out of here?" She asked, eyes flashing towards the church. "Drew is probably telling the guests right now and I don't want to be in the middle of the street kissing another man in my wedding dress when they walk out..."

"Yeah." He nodded dumbly. "My car?"

X

"So..." He stated, sitting back in his seat. They were parked on the coast at Malibu, the only place he could think of to drive to. The CBI seemed inappropriate and her place even more so. His place just seemed presumptuous. So the beach it was.

The drive here was mostly silent, but filled with air-splitting tension. She seemed drained – breaking your engagement a handful of minutes before walking down the actual aisle can do that – so he let her close her eyes and rest for a bit.

But now, sitting in the quiet, with her in a wedding dress, talking needed to be done.

"You showed up at my wedding." She said.

"You broke your engagement."

"Actually Drew broke it."

"Ah." He said, apparently not surprised at all.

This made her raise an eyebrow. "Ah?"

"Well, Drew's an intelligent man. And you, my dear, are about as subtle as one of those guns you like to swing around. I'm sure he must've noticed that you have feelings for me."

"Oh, _I _have feelings for _you _now? And what makes you say that?"

"Well, if you really hate me like you say you do, you wouldn't have gotten in that car. Or let me kiss you."

"You seem pretty sure of yourself."

He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Wanna know a secret? I'm not really. But seeming that way always seem to work out well, so..."

She chuckled a bit, and he smiled at the melodious sound of her laugh.

Silence fell in the car once again.

This time, she broke it. "Okay, so what are we going to do about..." She gestured between them. "This?"

"What do you want to do about it?"

She sighed, shrugging and running her fingers through her hair. "I don't know. I'm still mad at you for conning me. I don't like to be played, Patrick."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You said that."

"So you listened to my messages?" His eyes lit up.

She nodded silently and smiled a small smile.

Knowing that she hadn't written him off so completely that she listened to his pathetic pleas for her love on voicemail, a surge of courage swept through him. He reached out and grasped her hand, interlacing the small, delicate fingers with his own, and looked her right in the eye.

"Look Teresa... I understand that our situation is... pretty much as unconventional as it could get. I mean... It is what it is. But no matter how we got here, here's where we are: I am in love with you. Hopelessly, passionately in love with you, in a way that's not going to go away. And I want to have a relationship with you. A real one, that ends with you in a white dress like this one. But one you can recognize yourself in." A small smile cracked on her face and his courage grew threefold. "I want to try. And I realize it's not going to be easy. But I'm willing to do whatever I have to, to make this work. Are you?"

He could practically hear the cogs turning in her head. She closed her eyes, frowning in frustration, and finally opened her eyes.

"Alright."

Before he could start celebrating, she interrupted him, holding up one finger to halt his celebratory kiss.

"I'm not promising anything! I'm certainly not promising another white dress anytime soon. I _literally _just got out of a relationship. And I'm still not sure how much I can trust you. But I _can _promise you one date. One date – and we'll see where it goes from there."

A wide, bright smile spread across his face. She couldn't help but smile along with him when she saw the way his azure eyes lit up happily.

"I'll take those terms. Trust me, Agent Lisbon – once you get a taste, one date won't be enough."

Before she could make the sarcastic retort that arrogant statement deserved, his lips were on hers again, and the remark was lost.

In that moment, there parked by the coast of the beach with only the waves breaking as background noise, all the world fell away. It was just them; him, Patrick Jane, and her, Teresa Lisbon. Just a man and a woman, in love.

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><p><strong>Well, there you go! Next will be the epilogue. Thanks so much for all the support I've received with this fic. I really enjoyed writing it. Special thanks to Agathanancy98 for the suggestion. Please send me a nice review for old time's sake!<strong>

**Much love, Zanny**


	15. Epilogue

**The Accidental Husband: Epilogue**

**Hey guys! Here we are: the end. Thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed this fic; your feedback always means so much. Since I'm in my matric year this year and extremely busy, I probably won't be writing as much anymore. I'm still going to try and post as much as I can when inspiration strikes, but it probably won't be as frequent as it's been. So yeah... **

**Also, some more marriage license info that I know absolutely nothing about from Yahoo Answers. Sorry for any inaccuracies. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

The sunlight streamed in through the window; it burned her eyes and woke her unceremoniously.

She groaned, rubbing her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." A familiar masculine voice greeted her.

She reluctantly cracked open an eyelid and blinked as his gloriously tanned, bare-chested form became visible in the harsh, white morning light.

"You were staring at me again, weren't you?"

"Yup." He confirmed with a wide smile. "You're spectacular when you're asleep. All serene and picturesque... Here you go." He reached around to the bedside table and revealed a steaming cup of coffee. "Your morning coffee, my love."

Her eyes grew large and she reached out for the cup.

Patrick Jane made the most delectable coffee ever. She quickly discovered this (most, _most _positive) attribute early in their relationship. Even though he still adamantly refused to even drink a _sip _of the drink, the coffee he made for her every morning was absolutely perfect. She wasn't a morning person; she's never been. But mornings like these, drinking a perfect cup of coffee with her perfect boyfriend... she could really get used to it.

"Sleep well?" She asked, sipping at her beverage. Immediately the delicious aroma seemed to provide a surge of energy.

She nodded simply in reply, letting the caffeine and the velvety voice of her fiancé lift up her morning blues.

"We've got a big day today." He said, smiling widely, earning a chuckle from her.

"Oh yeah?" She played dumb.

"Oh, don't pretend this isn't as big to you as the day itself."

"I know it's big to me. I've been there before, remember?" She said, rising her eyebrow.

He sniggered at her early morning wit and tucked a rebel curl behind her ear.

"Go ahead and get dressed. I'll get started on breakfast. Then we'll go on to city hall." He patted her affectionately on the thigh and reluctantly got up. "I love you."

A wide, happy smile spread over her face as she watched his messy mop of golden curls disappear out of the bedroom towards the kitchen.

Beautiful, wonderful man – hers now, forever.

Today, in the strangest turn of events imaginable, that will be confirmed. With excitement running through her veins, she got up out of bed and started picking out clothes from her closet.

X

"Hi. Name and identification, please." The clerk croaked.

The moment couldn't possibly get more ironic as the clerk eyed the copies of the driver's licenses pushed through the slot and read their names: Teresa Lisbon and Patrick Jane.

"Deja vu, my dear?" He whispered in her ear.

"Little bit." She admitted, blush tinting her cheeks.

The clerk's eyes flashed judgmentally from the computer screen at them, no doubt reading their records on the computer. Her and Drew's application for the marriage license and the quick cancellation of it must still be on there... Or at least some kind of indication.

He couldn't care less. And, surprisingly, neither did she. Nothing, not even the judging eyes of a city clerk, could get her down.

"Alright, everything seems in order." She said after a few more moments. "These are two certificates that needs to be signed by the both of you and a justice of the peace. One needs to be mailed back to us after the ceremony, the other one is for your own records. Thank you, have a good day."

"Thank you."

Hand in hand, they walked out of the building with their certificates.

"This is a good day." She stated and he smiled widely.

"One of many..." He kissed her temple, smiling into her cinnamon-scented ebony curls. "Mrs. Jane."

She chuckled. "Woah there, Mister Jane, you haven't gotten me down the aisle yet."

"Well, there's no way you're gonna let that gorgeous dress go to waste, are you?"

She sighed, nodding slowly. "I do look pretty great in that dress, don't I?"

He chuckled, pulling her closer so he can put an arm around her shoulders. "You sure do, Mrs. Jane. You sure do..."

**Might be a bit of a cheesy end... Oh well, where else could it've gone? Hope you guys approve! Review and let me know!**

**Much love, Zanny**


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